I was feeling tired for a few days and couldn't engage with current events and after a short break, I have some energy again.
During my little break, people I know continued to share reels or headlines offering a different perspective. Like this one…
When I finally clicked the first video, it told me that video is no longer available because the uploader had closed their YouTube account. Who knows…
But I did watch the second one. Here it is.
I love to receive messages like these because I want to make sure I'm not missing any fact or perspective that would change the way I think.
But it reminded me of what is driving me crazy. And that is that almost always, the way we rebut what is happening now, or how we tell people they are wrong, is by highlighting how it has happened before. If you watch the video, tell me what you learned. Anything? How does his speech lead to progress in any direction? Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of keeping us stuck by pointing fingers. Our blame prevents us from reckoning with the present moment.
It is like a toddler in a preschool classroom pointing their finger and saying, "But HE started it!!" Or, a teenager refusing to do their chores because a sibling didn't do theirs. Or maybe the boy or man who violates a girl or woman and blames her outfit or personality for the violence.
If the toddler isn't taught that they have to stop throwing their friends toys no matter who started it...
If the teenager isn't taught they have to do their own chores no matter what their siblings do...
If the man isn't taught that the woman is not to blame for his aggression...
Then there will never be a time where a preschool playdate, responsibilities in the home, and the safety of women are dealt with. Because we can never get ahead of the blame. We pin each other under the weight of it.
The toddler continues to understand injustice as their friend starting it, instead of their own decision to continue it.
The teenage sibling continues to understand injustice as unfairness, instead of their own failure to uphold their responsibilities.
And the man/boy continues to understand injustice as what the woman did to him by what she wore or the signals she sent, instead of his own decision to violate her with his power.
Both parties should stop playing the blame game because it keeps us stuck. Saying, "but where was the outrage before?" is just manipulative. And by the way, I do take action on a personal level anytime I witness injustice. Do you?
Blame is how we avoid responsibility and discomfort, like the toddler and teenager. It's also a waste of energy. Discomfort is a good thing. It challenges and teaches us.
When we learn something new, we have options:
-We can disassociate, especially if it does not impact us immediately. (Your brain may refuse to consider the possibility that one day when you are impacted by something, you will need others to act on your behalf.)
-We can figure out how to justify the decision so that our existing beliefs remain undisturbed. (It might seem unbearable to explore the inconsistencies in our current framework.)
-We can allow our discomfort to challenge and sharpen us. "Why is this happening? Who made this decision? What was their objective? Does this align with my values?" (Our loyalty does not belong to our existing ideology or way of thinking. In fact, if you are a person of faith, then your faith transcends ideology, nationality, race, gender, whatever. Your faith calls you to be uncomfortable.)
Level up for a better world.
